Wednesday, March 16, 2011

autumn breezes

Do you know the feeling of  being disconnected? That's where I find myself right now. It's quite confusing, although it isn't bothering me drastically at the moment.

I generally feel disconnected from most people. I guess I feel connected in the way of general humanity, and I'm sure in some sense that I am more connected with my friends. The one person who I normally feel completely aligned with, has left me for dead. Not really. I just really wanted to say 'left me for dead' because it popped into my head. Really, though, the link isn't there at the moment.

Nothing has changed, not really. Is it me? Is it him? Do I really mind? Life is so busy at the moment, I often don't even think about it. That's not true, either. I'm really like that Old Man River song :

"You're on my mind, wherever I go
I think it's time to let you know
That I can't go on watching love wasting away.'

I just can't help it really.

It's hard, too. Few people are supportive of him; in the sense that for their own reasons, they like to drag him down. In many different ways. Ah, obscurity. We are so innately similar, yet if you looked at our personalities from the outside, it would seem like we wouldn't get along at all.  I am now inclined to thrust a series of clich├ęd questions at you (such as 'why is life so hard?'). I will save you all the trouble and boredom, though.

I don't know what else there is to say. I just wish it could be simple. I see other people who have it easy. Jealousy isn't really my thing though.

On another note, today was such a beautiful autumn day.

(you can buy this photo at treknature)

Monday, March 14, 2011

goodness, it's late

Indeed, it is. I really should be asleep, but I just found out that we ran out of toilet paper, so I'm a little sad.

I have nothing especially interesting to write about. I drank Spanish hot chocolate today, from Chocolateria San Churro. It made me miss learning Spanish. I wish I could study it without having to pay anything.

Also, I drove about 50 kilometres in thick fog. It was incredibly exciting. Extra driving practice. This reminded me how much I love driving. It also made me wonder how I'm going to get enough cash to fix my car up.

I finished Frankenstein over the weekend. It's good, frustrating, elaborate, and lacking in something. I still haven't worked out what. To much 'woe is me' and not enough rational thinking. I mean, did Frankenstein really think that his monster was coming to take his life, and not his most beloved wifes? He obviously didn't read too many horror novels in his time. He obviously didn't realise how predictable his rational thinking monster man was.

Given my simplistic language I now see that I am using, I think I shall retire, and leave you with my logical complaints about a novel written nearly two hundred years ago.

(picture is of Geneva, where Frankenstein grew up)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

nothing to do, nothing to say

This is me trying to post something every single day.

I have nothing to say.

Today was simply awful.

So awful I got a headache, and now wish to remove myself entirely from civilization.

I think I should join Tumblr.

This post would be more appropriate there, wouldn't it?

Thanks for nothing, Thursday.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

a day of carrots and grammar

This post is about my editing class. Also, I am eating a carrot and it is making it very hard to type.

Goodness me, I love editing class. I love learning the intricacies of our silly language. Perhaps it is because English can be so ridiculous that I enjoy plumbing its depths? Or maybe it is simply that universal human trait of wanting to understand everything we possibly can? I don't really care, to be honest. It just makes me happy.

Editing 1, as my subject is called, has easily risen above all other subjects this semester. I now eagerly await Wednesday's; looking forward to learning new referencing styles and how to identify different parts of sentences.

I think I just realised one of the reasons I so enjoy this class. I learnt English at school, however I started reading and writing when I was about four years old. Like most native languages, I picked up various ideas and understandings of how the language works before I was formally taught anything. For me, studying grammar is like being taught why things are the way they are. I would say I have a good grasp of our language; I know what grammar rules are and how to apply them. Editing 1 is teaching me the in's and out's of these rules; the delicacies, formalities, and beauty of the English grammatical skeleton.

Yes, as nerdy as it sounds, there is a definite beauty to this whole process. I liken it to what I imagine a scientist feels when dissecting something. Breaking apart the whole in order to understand the pieces; simply for the purpose of better understanding the whole. (Not being a student of science, this is what I understand it to be about. Correct me if I am wrong.)

Grammar has strict rules, yet it has gentle nuances also. It appears to change, due to time and culture, and probably many other circumstances as well. It is somewhere between a science and an artform, and I am immensely enjoying studying it.

Also, my carrot was delicious.

(thanks sydneymorningherald for the cute photo)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

too much info?

Today I saw a tweet from a random girl asking female bloggers between the ages of 18-30 to comment on how they draw the fine line between personal touches and too much information. Obviously, this got me thinking about my own blog.

When I first started writing, I made sure that I wrote with giving too much away. I wrote political commentary (or, the woes of shoe throwing), I wrote about odd things that happened to me, or I chose topics (music, procrastination, etc) to write about. And then, on my return from the middle of nowhere, my blogging style seemed to change. I note how I have written about love, loss, and rejection approximately four times in the past month. Given that I have only written about four posts in the last month, this says something.

I know that I started writing about feelings (trying not to sound like a 16 year old right now) on the internet because I thought it might help me, and if I was lucky, help others. More than if I simply wrote it all down in my little writing book. And it has helped. I've seen things I might not normally have seen. It's helped me open up to people, and now I know that a lot more people really care about me than I actually thought (ego relief?).

I've also recieved comments like 'I love the way you write', 'your blog is so beautiful', etc. (Again, all ego boosters to be sure.) I never heard anything like this when I was writing without heart. So now I am not sure what to do. I thought I had stepped over the line; I wondered if I had crossed into TMI territory. Even if this is so, it has had a much better reception than 'too little information'.

So now I put the question to you all, scary as it may seem to me. I know there are only, say, thirty or so people who read this. The anonymity makes it safe for you, though. What do you prefer? How I feel about John Howard or what goes on in my love life?